My First AMEBC Round-Up: Running Blog, Part 1

This weekend I'm attending the Association for Mineral Exploration British Columbia's Round-up conference for the first time. It runs from Friday, January 27th, through to February 1st. It's "the World's LARGEST technical mineral exploration conference" and, as such, it attracts all types. I'm going to pass along my thoughts on the whole racket, stealing an idea from ESPN's Bill Simmons, in a somewhat "running diary" form. As usual, names are excluded to protect....well, me & my job.

• First off: there's a pile o' hot broads at this thing. At UNB, we had a few cute chicks floating around the geology department, but here....wow. Kinda hard to concentrate on short courses on structural geology & NI43-101...which is hard to concentrate on at the best of times (more on that below).
• This whole conference is run on beer. Everything you hear all day is about beer. There are free beer "receptions" at the end of every afternoon session. It's not even good beer....it's draft beer, but people go crazy over it. Total amateur hour. It's like Dorks Gone Wild. But if they can combine the hot broads with the gone wild part of that.... If they only had a free vodka reception some day. I might be able to go talk to the cute dark haired girl....
• It's also a big schmooz-fest. A lot of companies recruiting, a lot of students looking for work. In a related aside, the other day I received an e-mail from my project manager with the subject line "Fishing trips at Round-up." I'm not lying when I say I was pretty disappointed when I opened the e-mail and it concerned other companies possibly trying to recruit us. I also felt pretty stupid for saying "Shit! I left my fishing rod in Postville!" in the office in front of the accountants
• This idea isn't my own, but I've really adopted it: these conferences are a mixing pot of germs & viruses, with some fairly gross people spread throughout the damn thing. A lot of the old "wipe & shake" going on (wiping the nose with the right hand, then shaking someones hand). As it is "the World's LARGEST technical mineral exploration conference," nobody wants to miss it so they show up sick. "Oh, you just flew in from Asia for this...oh, and you're coughing into your hand...yes, I'm Mat....nice to meet you....now, where's the Purell, you sick prick?"
• I overheard someone say that our company "has more money than brains." Personally, I was a little insulted because my bank account is pretty low right now. A sure sign that I'm mellowing out: the old me would've said "we could hire four Stephen Hawkings and we'd still have more money than brains, douchebag. Jealous?" but instead, I flipped my name badge over and walked to another table.
• I did a short course on Friday about National Instrument 43-101, which is a series of regulations enacted to prevent another BRE-X from happening. The course certainly made me appreciate what my vice-president signs his name to & what he's liable for. But sweet blessed Jesus, what a boring topic...the three presenters definitely weren't Conan O'Brien & friends either. It's really hard to take anything seriously when certain words ("consent" and especially "JORK") are repeated over and over again. I dreamed of turning into Jules from Pulp Fiction: "Say JORK again! Say it, mothaf**ka!"
• It's somewhat reassuring...or maybe it's not reassuring at all...that "structure dorks" are pervasive throughout the fabric of the industry. Structure dorks are those people who had brilliant marks on all tests and assignments in university, but are: A) totally inept with any field work whatsoever; and B) have a general lack of common sense. Usually they exhibit both A & B. This was demonstrated once again by the genius in the structural geology short course who had a really, really difficult time trying to figure out how to tie his shoelace while having a coffee in his hand. PS -For you structure dorks reading this: it's usually better to set the coffee down first.
• This, my friends, is not the best song to be singing to yourself while at the conference. But it's still one of the best of 2006.
• Of the two days so far, more people came up and asked me about my project/company/etc when I was looking like a hungover bum (hoodie, ballcap, unshaven, etc.) than when I was trying to pretend to be corporate (collared shirt). I'm going to try to get everyone to wear Hawaiian shirts for the booth.
• Yes, we have booth duty coming up later this week as well. Booth duty sounds like a blast: you essentially stand there while people (i.e. structure dorks) pepper you with questions about your project. You really have to be careful on what to say due to disclosure regulations, and you want to know your geology to as to not look like a fool. I have a plan though. I'm going to read up on all my information to make sure I know it well, and our VP is giving us a cheat sheet on what can be disclosed.
• Failing that, I'm going to teach my self to juggle, wear a Hawaiian shirt and say "I'm unable to answer that at this time.....but who wants to watch me juggle?"

More to come as Round-Up 2007 progresses.....